As I scan my blog reader for new updates, my heart skips a beat when I see a new post by Boothe Farley.  Today her words are about her hope - but they speak to my hope - and I’ll bet you will feel it too.  Click here to read her beautiful insight:  no eye has seen.   I encourage you to read her blog from the beginning.  Keeping Awake - link to the main page.

Kaci and Brad’s Sunday school class is studying Ten Commandments from the Backside - and this week they discussed “Thou Shalt Not Steal”. We’ve all been victims of theft and we’re all guilty of taking things that don’t belong to us. Robbery, kidnapping or embezzlement are vivid examples, but what about taking advantage, long term “borrowing”, or overlooking mistakes? Long ago, taking someone’s cow might have grave consequences to a family. Today, noticing you weren’t charged for the water in the bottom of your shopping cart doesn’t really “harm”…or does it?

All week long this topic has weighed on me - and this story is in my thoughts. In my former life with BIG BUSINESS, I accepted a promotion to run a facility where the exiting Sr. Manager was being recognized and rewarded by top leadership and groomed as “the Golden Boy”, he was honored as Sr. Manager of the Year and was moving up in the company. Typically my jobs were comprised of hiring, firing, training and general clean up of messes made by incompetent management, so stepping into a spotlight job was an exciting change for me.

A couple of weeks in my new big office, imagine my surprise when I reviewed an invoice for gas - the charge ticket was signed by Mr. Golden Boy’s girlfriend for her personal vehicle. Curious, I pulled some files and found he had paid her “contract labor” as well as listed her as an employee (so she had health insurance), put a new motor in her vehicle, rented an SUV while her car was in the shop AND paid her travel mileage. On my office supply bill, there were lunch boxes, back packs and a dorm refrigerator. I uncovered expenses that totaled $40,000 in just a few months. At that point I stopped looking because I didn’t want to know.

As I reviewed reports, I noted hours some employees worked were completed “off the clock”, meaning they weren’t getting paid. It was one thing after the other. Suddenly, this location that WAS the shining star, was now running over budget. I was paying the employees for their hours, catching up back bills that had been hidden away, and taking the time to do things right. More hours, more expenses and a productivity tank. My boss was on my case.

I did what I thought was right and went to Mr. Golden Boy with the remainder of the unpaid bills. He laughed and said that “discretionary spending” was a fringe benefit of upper management. He suggested I go buy some furniture and just shut up.

Now what? I love to shop and that is usually my distraction of choice, but…um….no.  Silly me, I had been using my own checkbook. (insert scarasm here)  Besides that wouldn’t really help me cheat payroll, now would it?  Or live with myself.

I continued to look like an incompetent manager while quietly fixing the problems and the heat from above became intense. My director drilled me on a conference call with my peers. From his vantage point, the problems started with my leadership. Here I was doing my best to balance leadership with integrity and loyalty - and I was being cast as THE problem.

That was 14 years ago, but it’s still as vivid in my mind as if it were yesterday. What would you do? I’ll post later what ultimately happened, but I’m curious to see what others think. I’ve had great bosses and crappy ones - those at the director level of BIG BUSINESS can be wonderful leaders or smart-ass snakes. In my decade of Sr. Management, I did not ever experience anything in the middle.

Shoot me a note with what you think would have been an appropriate choice - and remember at that time I was not in a position to throw my career out the window.

Weird words - but I was looking up something to describe how I feel about finding a new church home. I’ve discovered that Googling various words and looking at websites do not provide me the information I need. When we moved to Illinois, we were vagabond churchgoers for a while - moving from one to the next in search of the “perfect” fit. We did not find it. What we did find was much better - and it was where God wanted us to be.

Right now, with transitioning two houses and coordinating all the little tasks that accompany moving, my brain is on overload. I have no doubt God will steer us in the right direction - but I’m not sure I can hear Him with all the other little shouting voices in my head.

My personal wish list includes: convenient, contemporary, preferably non-denominational and kid-friendly. Huge metro churches do not appeal to me - my experience has been void of sincere human interaction and the lack of opportunity to build personal relationships. I don’t know what church tv is - but just the sound of it makes me think of televangelism ala Bakker and Swaggart.

There you have it. We’re joining Kaci’s family at their church this week and next, but will need to start looking when we move into our home in Oklahoma the end of June.

Comments on Comments: Yes, Megan, Yukon.  Now you have no excuse not to visit.  Rose,  thanks for noticing my moving help was Kali, my 7 year old granddaughter and the box was filled with 3 lampshades.  Linny - we did buy the house I sent pics of.  It has a  comfy front porch, a storm cellar AND a wonderful kitchen.

It should come as no surprise that a huge chunk of shopping for a new home is done on the “internets”. I’ve been using “the Google” to utilize various searches to narrow down the area, neighborhood and homes we’d consider purchasing.

Frustration is too mild a word to describe what I’ve encountered. I’ve actually toyed with starting a blog to dialog a buyer’s perspective.

My list would begin with:

• Pictures - this is the internet my friend. 2043sqft/3br/2ba/2car/cozy does NOT cut it. I want to visually walk through your home. If you hire a realtor, INSIST there be an abundance of pictures.

• Said pictures - must capture the size, features, ambiance of the room. I know what a wall looks like, I’m familiar they usually have corners. Back up, check lighting, focus, shoot.

• Instruct the homeowner to make a few adjustments prior taking pictures. Declutter. Shut the toilet lid, put the lid on the deodorant - and put the deodorant can inside cabinet (with the 43 other items cluttered on bathroom counter). I realize I’m not shopping at Wal-Greens, but it is a bit distracting. Make the bed. Push clothing and toys well under bed. I’m thinking if you’d allow your home to be published all over the web in this condition - how can I trust you’ve had any pride of ownership through the years?

• Realtors - if you have the house listed, you are not doing your seller any favors by shorting the information. Yes, an occasional buyer might call you. However, if I have to jump through hoops just to see inside the front door, I will not. It is also an inconvenience to require a login and completion of a resume just to access your website. I might eventually fill it out - but I am not providing you accurate information and I do not want you calling me.

That’s all I have time for today. Anyone else have caveat emptor experiences?

If you’ve ever wished you knew how to thank a soldier - here’s how you can do it, teach your kids to do it - and never miss another chance.

Thank you Stephanie, for sharing this with me.

Have you seen Ben Stein’s movie “Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed“? My hope is that you make a point to. Unless you really did evolve from a monkey - you’ll find this documentary intriguing and necessary.

In a scientific world gone mad, EXPELLED: No Intelligence Allowed is the controversial documentary that will chronicle Ben Stein’s confrontation with the Neo-Darwinian machine, exposing widespread suppression and entrenched discrimination in his heroic quest to bring back freedom in our institutions, laboratories and most importantly, in our classrooms, with the help of the world’s top scientists, educators and thinkers.

The following is an edited yearly repost in honor of our friend:

Brian Stewart

Brian was our next door neighbor - but we shared more than a lawnmower line and love for OU. He was one of those shining stars that attracted friendship and mutual adoration. I’d occasionally cook for him and keep an eye out for him through my kitchen window. He would scoop up my kids and race his scooter/wheelchair across my bumpy yard threatening to spill them all. He never did!! He was the ONLY person I’ve ever known to get away with calling out “Hi Sexy Lexi”. As his health deteriorated, Lexi still visited. As his sight deteriorated and he slept a lot, he would recognize she was there. She would color pages for him and his mom Jan would put them by his pillow. Brian suffered from a brain tumor and it eventually took his life. He died on April 16 and his funeral was April 19, 2005.

Last year, we were in Oklahoma and visited Brian’s gravesite. The kids LOVE sitting in the grass that Jim (Brian’s dad) so carefully tends. It is an oasis in otherwise somber setting. Nicholas read the verse on the back of the headstone out loud. We left our “business card” on the little stone the kids put there years ago. In the car, Lexi listened to “I Can Only Imagine” and “You Lift Me Up” - songs sung at Brian’s funeral. She still calls those “Brian’s songs”

His memoriam reads: Jason White had a simple explanation for how Brian lived his life. “He fought for a long time. When people gave him weeks, he turned it into years.” Stewart, the self-proclaimed No. 1 fan of Oklahoma’s 2003 Heisman Trophy winner, died Saturday at his Tuttle home. He was 29. Stewart, who befriended White as a volunteer coach at Tuttle while White attended school there, was diagnosed at the age of 15 with a brain tumor. During White’s Heisman season, he spoke of how inspirational Stewart was to him. Stewart said the same about White. “He’s definitely left an impression on my life,” White said. “His attitude on life, you never knew anything was wrong. He turned everything negative into a positive.”

I remember one day seeing Jason’s car pull into Brian’s driveway for a regular visit. I was the typical “fan” and later asked Brian what they talked about all that time. He said “Nothing, we just watched TV”. He laughed at me for being starstruck - and later some of OU’s finest would honor Brian with a final trip to the Orange Bowl and at his funeral service.

The memories we carry of Brian’s generous spirit, his positive attitude and his thoughtfulness will last for years. He remains an inspiration to our family - and I’m sure to the kids in Tuttle whose lives he touched. We miss you buddy. I’m glad we get the chance - and pray that Heaven is everything you dreamed it would be. Jan and Jim - you are in our thoughts today too. Love you all.

If any or all of these apply to you, click Ways We Hurt Our Relationships for more information.

1. You’re playing to win
2. You don’t trust
3. You don’t talk
4. You don’t listen
5. You spend like a single person
6. You’re afraid of breaking up
7. You’re dependent
8. You expect happiness
9. You never fight
10. You expect it to be easy/you expect it to be hard

Or Can’t We Talk is another insightful article.

Cassie shared this today. I almost didn’t watch, but I’m glad I did.  It made my heart race to think I’ve tuned God out on many occasions and let distractions get in the way.

I’m going to throw this out here.  What is it with Mrs. Governor Spitzer (and Dina McGreevy or even Hillary)?  I’m just an outsider looking in, but I am completely bumfuzzled about the ability of these wives who publicly stand beside partners who have so blatantly violated their trust and love.  And that of their children.

Not to say I would abandon the man I had built a family with, but I simply could not stand beside him in front of people while he mumbled anything from a denial to a half-a*sed apology - all the while continuing to posture for public position.    Sorry Mr. Governor, but you would need to stand alone and face the music, then come home to begin repairing the shattered aftermath.

The arrogance and hypocrisy of Eliot Spitzer is astounding.  HIS position should be to protect and shield his wife, not drag her out in a public display of feigned unity.   This repeated image just doesn’t sit well with my heart.   I realize that many marriages survive infidelity, and what a feat that is.  With God’s help, it would be a slow journey back to regain forgiveness, trust and respect.

These bogus political photo shoots and sound bites seem desperate to me - and they diminish the beauty, grace and honor of these women.