Political Ponderings

I don’t much like to debate politics. I am a liberal conservative – and I tend to change my mind frequently, I’m wishy-washy. I don’t like bashing and I think my ideas are the right ones. So, I avoid discussion in most instances.However, I’ve been watching – listening to Larry Craig, The Senator’s arrest, tape recordings and subsequent press destruction and I’m left wondering: What, exactly, did he do wrong? I see the big picture that “Mr. Holier than Thou” has cast himself in a vulnerable and unattractive position – and pled guilty to “disorderly conduct”- but I am at a loss to figure out what he DID that was illegal.

1. He was using a toilet in an AIRPORT. He was accused of: tapping his foot and blocking the stall door with his roller luggage. Police recognize the actions “as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct.” His stance was wide.

Have you ever used a bathroom stall in an airport? Everywhere you are warned not to leave your luggage unattended….. so you pull it into the stall!! Well, it blocks the door. It cramps your style. It is crowded in there. I shudder to think of all the times I could have been drug out with my britches around my ankles and handcuffed for….well….for….huh? Where do you put your knees when your suitcase is in your lap? Who SITS down and mannerly keeps their knees together while going potty? Try keeping your legs together and using T.P. (grocery list abbreviation for the modest).

I’ve seen males urinate – they don’t tippy-toe in front of the bowl, they spread out. To avoid falling in, I guess – or splatter. Or just a territorial thing. I thought it was a comfort thing, not a mating call.

2. He stood outside the stall 1-2 minutes. He glanced between the crack where the police officer was staked out.

I’m in deep trouble. I’m guilty of actually bending over and looking for feet or other signs of a stall being inhabited. Should you politely knock? Should there be doorbells installed? What to do??? If I ever see anyone through the crack, I hope the smoke and burglar alarms go off and that unsuspecting peeker be carted off to the pokey!!

3. His hand passed underneath the divider, a sure “sign” you’re looking for some stall interaction. He appeared to pick something up off the floor.

I’ve passed toilet paper to strangers! I’ve dropped my plane tickets. Heck, my toddler actually crawled under the divider into an occupied stall one time. I’m doomed to a life sentence. There is no potty privacy in prison. 😦

4. Then, to top it off, he decided to enter a guilty plea, get it over with and move on, not create a scene.

Stupid move, but I’m a crusader for justice and rightness and responsibleness (is that a word?), so I’d probably fight to the death. This guy was in a no-win situation. He’s damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t.

5. I know guys say they don’t check out other guys in the bathroom. I’ve never really understood that, but I’ve never been in a room of naked or exposed other people. I’m sure peripherally I would SEE. Is this illegal?

6. Finally, say he WAS looking for some action. I see nothing where he solicited the stranger in the adjoining stall, where he offered cash for some hanky panky, where he demanded sexual favors – I can’t see where he broke the law. What am I missing?

I hate using public toilets anyway. Bladder infection be damned, I’m holding it until I am in a house of someone I know and love, and trust not to be analyzing my actions. If I peek in their medicine chest, I want it assumed I’m seeking a BAND-AID, not BONDAGE.

What AM I missing?

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