My Day of Asking Forgiveness

Today has been a long day. We got a late start and instead of reading our next Bible chapter, the kids wanted to hear about the crucifixion. So I jumped ahead and read about Christ on the cross. We were tearful. They have asked repeatedly to watch “The Passion Of The Christ”, but I think they are too young. I am too young. It’s hard to witness and I don’t think they are prepared for the graphic reality.

Then, several things disrupted our class time and the kids got silly and I got crabby and they couldn’t focus and I felt impatient and instead of calling TIME OUT, I got angry, threw down my book and yelled at them. Then I left the room to take a deep breath, went back in and we were all tearful, again, as we regrouped and I apologized. My kids are so bright and capable – I have high expectations of them. Every day isn’t going to be a stellar one and it is my job to pay attention and adjust, take a break and find a way to exhaust some of their energy. That’s the beauty of homeschooling – that we CAN change directions when needed. Some days I lose sight of our purpose and get bogged down in schedules and checklists. Those days, giggling, messes and mistakes have no place in our educational plan. From here on, I plan to make a U-TURN when anxiety/energy starts to build. We’ll go for a nature walk, bake some cookies, dance to Hairspray songs….or just stop and breathe. Jesus, hear my prayer.


3 responses to “My Day of Asking Forgiveness

  1. Sounds like a GOOD home school day to me! What volumes they learned when Mom came back and apologized. Those are the hardest school days, but they’re also the BEST school days, if you ask me!

  2. I’m impressed by your ability to admit that you yelled right on the internet with everyone looking. Your kids are so lucky.

    This week, I threw a book down on the coffee table, yelled, “Well you can just stay ignorant then!” and stormed into the other room to give myself a time out. I’m also wondering if there was something going around, because most of my friends are having off weeks. We didn’t do school that day, or the next, and by today I was panicking that the mood would never be right and I’d have to just force it anyway. But we did fine today. In fact, we were so fine that we did the whole week’s worth of stuff in a day. If we do school tomorrow, too, instead of yard saling with the daddy-o, we might be caught up to you by the end of next week.

  3. (((hugs))) I know exactly what you mean. I have done that more than once I might add 😉 and as hard as it is I have been biting my tongue and praying through it.

    My 6 & 7yr olds have been having attitudes lately when it comes to school so I have been having lots of practice =)

    As I look back on the times that I did get frustrated and angry and have gone back to apologize, I also see how the kiddos can learn from us.


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